Анекдот - Секрет

He had a lovely smile (у него была приятная улыбка) on his face (на /его/ лице). She just had to go over to him (она просто должна была подойти = не могла не подойти к нему).
«I couldn’t help noticing (не могла не заметить) how happy you look (каким счастливым вы выглядите). I would love (очень хотела бы) to know your secret for a long and happy life (узнать ваш секрет /для/ долгой и счастливой жизни).»
«I smoke four packets of cigarettes a day (я выкуриваю четыре пачки сигарет в день), drink five bottles (выпиваю пять бутылок) of scotch whiskey a week (в неделю), eat lots and lots (ем очень и очень много: “множества и множества”) of fatty food (жирной еды; fat — жир) and I never (никогда), I mean (имею в виду = вот уж действительно) never exercise (никогда не упражняюсь = не делаю зарядку, гимнастику).»
«Why, that’s absolutely amazing (совершенно поразительно). I’ve never heard anything like this before (я никогда не слышала ничего подобного: “такое как это раньше”). How old are you? (сколько вам лет)»
«I’m twenty six (26),» he replied.

• Версия на Английском без подсказок

  Mrs. Herman from London was visiting some friends in Florida when she saw a little old man rocking merrily away on his front porch. He had a lovely smile on his face. She just had to go over to him.
  "I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look. I would love to know your secret for a long and happy life."
  "I smoke four packets of cigarettes a day, drink five bottles of scotch whiskey a week, eat lots and lots of fatty food and I never, I mean never exercise."
  "Why, that’s absolutely amazing. I’ve never heard anything like this before. How old are you?"
  "I’m twenty six," he replied.