Анекдот - Он это я

The bartender (бармен), concerned (обеспокоенный) because it was so cold (потому что было так холодно), went to check on her (пошел проведать ее; to check — проверять).
When he looked inside the car (когда он заглянул в машину), he saw the man's friend (он увидел друга того человека /to see-saw-seen/), Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another (целующимися).
The bartender shook his head (он покачал головой /to shake-shook-shaken/) and walked back inside (и вернулся назад; inside — внутрь).
He told the drunk (он сказал пьяному /to tell-told-told/) that he thought it might be (могла бы быть) a good idea to check on his girlfriend (что он думает, что это была бы неплохая идея — проверить его девчонку).
The fellow (парень) staggered outside to the car (шатаясь, пошел на улицу, к машине), saw his buddy and his girlfriend kissing (увидел своего приятеля и свою девушку целующимися), then walked back into the bar laughing (и вернулся в бар, смеясь). «What's so funny? (что смешного)» the bartender asked (спросил).
«That stupid Dave! (этот тупой, дурак Дэйв)» the fellow chortled (хохотнул, фыркнул), «He's so drunk, he thinks he's me! (он настолько пьян, что думает, будто он – это я)»

• Версия на Английском без подсказок

  A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man's friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside.
  He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend.
  The fellow staggered outside to the car, saw his buddy and his girlfriend kissing, then walked back into the bar laughing. "What's so funny?" the bartender asked.
  "That stupid Dave!" the fellow chortled, "He's so drunk, he thinks he's me!"