Анекдот - Он не умеет плавать

His search ended (его поиск окончился; to search — искать, просматривать) when he found a dog (когда он нашел собаку /to find-found-found/) that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck (которая могла фактически идти по воде для того, чтобы достать утку; to retrieve — извлекать, вынимать; доставать и приносить охотнику дичь).
Shocked by his find (потрясенный своей находкой), he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him (он был уверен, что никто из его друзей никогда не поверит ему).
He decided to try (он решил попробовать) to break the news (поделиться новостью) to a friend of his (со своим другом), the eternal pessimist (вечным пессимистом) who refused to be impressed with anything (который отказывался «быть впечатленным», поражаться чему-либо).
This, surely, would impress him (это, конечно, его впечатлит). He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog (он пригласил его поохотиться с ним и с его новой собакой).
As they waited by the shore (когда они ждали на берегу), a flock of ducks flew by (стая уток пролетела мимо /to fly-flew-flown/). They fired, and a duck fell (они выстрелили, и утка упала /to fall-fell-fallen/).
The dog responded (среагировала; to respond — отвечать, реагировать) and jumped into the water (прыгнула в воду). The dog, however (однако), did not sink (не погрузилась /to sink-sank-sunk/) but instead (вместо этого) walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet (не намочив ничего, кроме лап).
This continued all day long (это продолжалось весь день); each time (каждый раз) a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface (по поверхности) of the water to retrieve it.
The pessimist watched carefully (наблюдал внимательно), saw everything (видел все), but did not say a single word (но не сказал ни единого слова).
On the drive home (по пути /в машине/ домой) the hunter asked his friend, «Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog? (ты заметил что-нибудь необычное в моем новом псе)»
«I sure did (конечно, да),» responded the pessimist. «He can't swim (он не умеет плавать).»

• Версия на Английском без подсказок

  An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.
  He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pessimist who refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would impress him. He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.
  As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water.
  The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet.
  This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.
  The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.
  On the drive home the hunter asked his friend,
  "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?"
  "I sure did," responded the pessimist. "He can't swim."