Анекдот - Заместитель шерифа

«Okay,» the sheriff drawled (шериф протянул), «Homer, what is 1 and 1? (сколько будет 1 и 1)»
«11,» he replied (он ответил).
The sheriff thought to himself (подумал про себя), «That's not what I meant, but he's right (это не то, что я имел в виду, но он прав /to mean-meant-meant/).»
«What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'? (какие два дня недели начинаются с буквы “Т” /имеются в виду Tuesday — вторник и Thursday — четверг/)»
«Today and tomorrow (сегодня и завтра).»
He was again surprised (он был опять удивлен) that Homer supplied a correct answer (дал: «предоставил» правильный ответ) that he had never thought of himself (до которого он сам никогда не додумывался).
«Now Homer, listen carefully (слушай внимательно): Who killed (кто убил) Abraham Lincoln?»
Homer looked a little surprised himself (посмотрел несколько удивленно «сам» = в свою очередь), then thought really hard (затем действительно серьезно подумал) for a minute (с минуту) and finally admitted (и, наконец, признался), «I don't know (я не знаю).»
«Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while? (ну, почему бы тебе не пойти домой и не поработать над этим пока что, какое-то время)»
So, Homer wandered over to the pool hall (вышел в холл бюро) where his pals (где его приятели) were waiting to hear the results of the interview (ждали, «чтобы услышать» результаты собеседования). Homer was exultant (ликующий; exultant [ıg`zLlt(∂)nt]).
«It went great! (прошло замечательно) First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case! (в первый день работы я уже работаю над делом об убийстве)»

• Версия на Английском без подсказок

  The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Homer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket - went in to try out for the job.
  - "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Homer, what is 1 and 1?"
  - "11," he replied.
  The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right."
  - "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"
  - "Today and tomorrow."
  He was again surprised that Homer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
  - "Now Homer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
  Homer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."
  - "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"
  So, Homer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Homer was exultant.
  - "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"