Анекдот - Консультация у психолога

They had been at each other's throat for some time (они уже чуть не вцеплялись друг другу в горло: «они были при глотке друг друга некоторое время») and felt that this was their last straw (и чувствовали, что это их последняя соломинка /to feel-felt-felt/).
When they arrived at the counselor's office (когда они пришли к психологу: «советнику»), the counselor jumped right in (сразу принялся за дело: «впрыгнул») and opened the floor for discussion (и открыл дискуссию; floor — пол, настил; места для членов /законодательного/ собрания).
«What seems to be the problem? (что представляется проблемой)»
Immediately (немедленно), the husband held his long face down (опускает свое длинное = вытянувшееся лицо вниз) without anything to say (не имея что сказать).
On the other hand (с другой стороны, напротив же), the wife began talking 90 miles an hour (жена начала говорить со скоростью 90 миль в час /to begin-began-begun/) describing all the wrongs within their marriage (описывая все «неправильности» в: «внутри» их брака).
After 5 — 10 — 15 minutes of listening to the wife (после пяти — десяти — пятнадцати минут «слушания» супруги), the counselor went over to her (подошел к ней), picked her up by her shoulders (взял: «подхватил» ее за плечи), kissed her passionately (поцеловал ее страстно; passion — страсть) for several minutes (в течение нескольких минут), and sat her back down (и посадил ее обратно /to sit-sat-sat/).
Afterwards, the wife sat there speechless (после этого жена сидела там безмолвно; speech — речь).
He looked over at the husband (он оглянулся на мужа) who was staring in disbelief (кто в изумлении, не веря своим глазам смотрел: «уставился, глазел»; belief — вера, верование) at what had happened (на то, что произошло). The counselor spoke to the husband (заговорил с мужем /to speak-spoke-spoken/), «Your wife NEEDS that (ваша жена нуждается в этом) at least twice a week! (по крайней мере дважды в неделю)»
The husband scratched his head (почесал голову) and replied, «I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays (я могу приводить ее сюда по вторникам и четвергам).»

• Версия на Английском без подсказок

  After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling.
  They had been at each other's throat for some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.
  "What seems to be the problem?"
  Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say.
  On the other hand, the wife began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage.
  After 5 - 10 - 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes, and sat her back down.
  Afterwards, the wife sat there speechless.
  He looked over at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened. The counselor spoke to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"
  The husband scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays."