Анекдот - Визит Бога

God comes and says (Бог приходит и говорит), «I want the men to make two lines (я хочу, чтобы мужчины составили два ряда, построились в два ряда). One line for the men that dominated their women on earth (доминировали, главенствовали над своими женами на Земле) and the other line for the men that were whipped (были покорены: “высечены”) by their women.
Also (также), I want all the women to go with St. Peter.»
Said and done (сказано — сделано), the next time, God looks (в следующий раз Бог смотрит) the women are gone («ушедшие») and there are two lines.
The line of the men that were whipped was 100 miles long (длиной 100 миль), on the line of men that dominated women there was only one man (был только один человек).
God got mad (разгневался /to get-got-got/: «стал рассерженным»; mad — сумасшедший, безумный; рассерженный) and said, «You men should be ashamed of yourselves (вы, мужчины, должны стыдится самих себя). I created you in my image (я создал вас по своему образу), and you were all whipped by your mates (вашими супругами).
Look at the only one of my sons (посмотрите на всего лишь одного из моих сыновей) that stood up and made me proud (который был на высоте, выстоял и “сделал меня гордым” /to stand-stood-stood/; to stand up — вставать; оказываться прочным), learn from him! (учитесь у него)
Tell them my son how did you manage to be the only one on that line? (скажи им, сын мой, как ты ухитрился быть единственным в этом ряду)»
The man said, «I don't know (я не знаю). My wife told me to stand here (моя жена сказала мне встать здесь /to tell-told-told/).»

• Версия на Английском без подсказок

  Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women.
  Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter."
  Said and done, the next time God looks the women are gone and there are two lines.
  The line of the men that were whipped was 100 miles long, on the line of men that dominated women there was only one man.
  God got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates.
  Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud, learn from him! Tell them my son how did you manage to be the only one on that line?"
  The man said, "I don't know. My wife told me to stand here."