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Шутки на английском III

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Шутки на английском III

Different Jokes in English

Jokes in English III

1
- You can't keep a pet in these a apartment's.
- Can't I keep a puppy?
- You can't keep a pt in these apartment's.
- Or a kitten, perhaps.
- You can't keep a pet in these apartment's.
- Not even a tortoise?
- You can't keep a pet in these apartment's.
- You ought to keep a pet yourself, you know.
- You can't keep a pet in these apartment's.
- Why not to try a parrot, for instance?
- No!
2
- There feet are in terrible condition.
- They need treatment.
- I agree doctor.
- My feet do need treatment.
- The treatment for these feet to eat lots of green vegetables.
- But don't eat meat for eat least a week.
- No meat, Doctor?
- I repeat – you must not eat meat for at least a week.
- But I do eat green vegetables,
- Doctor, and I don't eat meat at all.
- Then you don't seem to need treatment.
- But Doctor – my feet!
- Next patient, please.
3
- Is there any meat?
- There's only timed meat.
- Is it beef?
- It's chicken.
- It is ready to eat?
- Well, you have to heat it before you eat it.
4
- I'll sing you a song
- Yes, do sing a song.
- But don't sing a sad song
- Most of my songs are sad
- Well, sing one that's not
- I'll sing Simple Simon

Jokes in English

5
- That house is too expensive.
- Let see what else you've got on your list.
- This is a small guest house.
- Close to the sea…
- Excellent accommodation consisting of …
- Just what you said you wanted.
- And the price is low of …course.
- Mm. Nice.
- You could see if for you self next Saturday or Sunday.
- But first, could you perhaps say what the low price is?
6
- It's not safe.
- Of course, it's safe.
- I think it'll sink.
- It's only made of thin cloth.
- It's not cloth, it's plastic.
- And it's not thin.
- It's thick.
- Well even thick plastic can burst.
- It's quite safe.
- The man said so.
- And any way sailing makes me sick
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