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Шутки на английском II

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Шутки на английском II

Different Jokes in English

Jokes in English II

1
- First thing First
- Give me a book, please Jane.
- Which book? This one?
- No, not that one.
- The red one.
- This one?
- Yes, please.
- Here you are.
- Thank you.
2
- Give me some glasses please, Jane.
- Which glasses?
- This glasses?
- No, not those.
- The ones on the shelf.
- This?
- Yes, is it.
- Here you are.
- Thank's.
3
- Seven days old!
- She's a lovely baby!
- She's a beautiful baby!
- And she's a clever baby!
- She's a very clever baby!
- And her voice-her voice is so… so clear!
- She's got a very clear voice!
- However her vocabulary isn't big.
- It isn't very big, no.
- Not very big.
- But it's big for a baby of her age!
4
- Jim: - Jim's a brilliant physicist.
- Philip: - Jim's a silly nit wit.
- Jim: - Criticism!
- Nothing but criticism!
- If it isn't Jim, it's Billy.
- And if it isn't Billy, it's…
- Philip: - Billy's ridiculous!
- Jim: - Philip, it's silly, to criticize everybody.
- Philip: - Yes, fill, it is, now.
- Why are you criticizing me?
5
- Aren't Carl and Marcia ghastly people?
- Ghastly, aren't they?
- But aren't their parties marvelous?
- Oh, they have marvelous parties, yes.
- Charles and Martha have ghastly parties.
- Mm, but they're marvelous people, aren't they?
- Oh, marvelous people, yes.
- What time does their ghastly party start, by the way?
6
- Arthur and Martha are such enthusiasts.
- They are so enthusiastic.
- What are they so enthusiastic about?
- Oh, about everything.
- Among other things, they're both very enthusiastic about the theatre.
- The theatre, mm.
- I loathe the theatre, and I loathe enthusiasts.
- I loathe Arthur, and Martha.
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