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Шутки на английском I

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Шутки на английском I

Different Jokes in English

Jokes in English I

1
- But how can you measure pleasure?
- You can measure anything
- But pleasure's …
- I'm measurable
- It's not immeasurable.
- And if it were measurable, then it wouldn't be
- Half so pleasurable…
2
- This is a job for you to do
- What time?
- The usual time
- Where?
- The usual place
- Is it dangerous?
- I imagine so these jobs usually are
- Yes…
- Enjoy you self
- Thank you very much.
- Always a pleasure
- Am!
- And now, if you don't mind,
- I have another engagement
- So I'll… see you later…
- Perhaps!
3
- When?
- Next Wednesday.
- Yes?
- Take the past ten bus
- Yes…?
- Get there at ten.
- Yes.
- Any questions?
- Yes!
4
- How d'you do? I'm Parker.
- How d'you do. Barker.
- Parker.
- Oh, Parker with a "P".
- With a "P" yes.
- Er… I'm Barker.
- Barker with a "B" of course.
- A "B". Yes.
- Ah?
- Br… well, goodbye. Barker!
- Goodbye, Parker!
5
- Zoos are nice!
- Look!
- Zebras.
- Zebras are nice!
- And lizards.
- Lizards are nice
- Look!
- Snakes.
- And snakes are nice.
- Some snakes are poisonous!
- They can kill people!
- Poisonous snakes are the nicest. Sss.
6
- I've got to go
- Oh, don't go
- I've got to
- No, you don't have to go
- I want to go home
- What d'you want to go home for?
- Open the door.
- It's not locked off you go
- I'm sorry
- Go home if you want to go on
- I'm sorry
- It's all right
- I don't mind.
7
- Now, look at this, sir – this marvelous seventeenth century mirror.
- It's a thing both of beauty and of worth.
- Yes. But do you think…
- Oh, I think you'll like the price too, sir.
- Mm. Perhaps so.
- But to me it seems quite worthless.
- Oh – you can have complete faith in it.
- Yes – but can you see your face in it.
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